So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
