Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there was a trapeze. enough said
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
