Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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