she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
