Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
