Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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