i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
