It's Friday. Sex?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
