i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
