I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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