Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
