Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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