I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
