why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
