mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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