dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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