Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
