You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
