id be glad to
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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