Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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