He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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