lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
