I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
