dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
