just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
