Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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