Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
