I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
