Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
