so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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