We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
