just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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