I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
