PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
