It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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