He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
