i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
