i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
