Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i've created a new STD.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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