WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
