He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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