why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
