Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
