Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
