dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
