11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
