I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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