Your tits are I can't wait for
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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