Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
