Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
