pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
