i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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