I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
